Friday 27th January 2006

It has taken me all week to get the hang of climbing onto the settee and today a new one arrives. It doesn’t sag as much as the old one did so I will have to start practising all over again. On the positive side it has got more bounce in it, a perfect doggy trampoline!

Well diary, I was going to let you know the result of the curtain experiment. Unfortunately tests have proved inconclusive. I was caught trying to climb up from the chair to the table and made to get down again. Since then I have been under surveillance so I am planning to retry by cover of night or at some other point when my owner is preoccupied. I thought I was going to get my chance when she smashed a bottle of olive oil all over the kitchen floor but just as I was moving myself into position for the offensive she decided to put me in my room for my own safety whilst she cleaned up.

I must learn to disguise my true thoughts better. We went for a lovely walk earlier today, when suddenly for no apparent reason my owner burst into what vaguely resembled a jog. I stopped in my tracks and just looked at her. It was when she said “You’re looking at me like I’m completely stupid” I realised I may be being a little transparent.

You wouldn’t believe the lengths she has gone to to try and fit the new Belgian number plates to the car. First she had to get one from the licence office, then the other one from an auto parts store. Then she found the holder she had bought was too big for the car. Now the holder is the right size and she hasn’t got screws that fit it to the car properly. It has made me tired just watching it all. Still it was fun chasing the one screw she had got round the floor of the garage! Quite enough exercise for me for one day!

Alfie with a little help from Rosemary J Kind

 

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