Saturday 11th February 2006

Well my thoughts of being a detective were fairly short lived. Today really hasn’t gone according to plan. I have absolutely no idea what on earth I am going to do. Well how was I supposed to know? Oh what a day. Perhaps I had better start at the beginning.

The doorbell rang just after breakfast so I skipped along excitedly wondering who I was going to get to meet. When I opened the door, I just stopped in my tracks. There on the doorstep in front of me, large as life was the police badger. Now badgers can look serious at the best of times and you immediately start thinking that something really bad has happened. Well in this instance it wasn’t so much that it had happened it was more that it was about to happen.

It seems that with the weather warming up squirrel has got up for a bit of a walk round her estate, as you do. In doing this she has noticed that some of her acorn stash is missing. I can see the penny dropping with you now, you are starting to realise my problem. Well she only went and reported it to the police, as theft, before going back to sleep again. Now it seems that Buzzard, who wasn’t that thrilled by my suggestion of going halves on a pheasant, wasn’t just any old Buzzard after all. He is sort of a ‘security Buzzard’, the forest version of closed circuit television. Now Buzzard has told the police badger that I was seen in the general area of squirrel’s acorn stash. What am I going to do?

Badger says he is going to get a search warrant and come back and search the premises. I need to act fairly quickly. The question is what course of action am I going to take? Shall I try and eat the evidence before he comes back or should I try and return the acorns to squirrel’s store and see if she will withdraw the complaint? I didn’t know the acorns already belonged to someone, I thought they had buried themselves by chance. There aren’t enough left to return the whole stash to squirrel, do you think I could make up the shortfall in dog biscuits? Perhaps if I come clean with Badger he will let me off, I’m only 12 weeks old I am still getting the hang of how things work round here.

 

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