Tuesday 11th April 2006

I am starting to suspect that a number of people are reading my private diary. My conclusions are drawn from the number of people that start a conversation with me as though they know me and I haven’t got a clue about who they are. It is either that or I have a particularly bad memory for faces. Of course if I am allowed to sniff all their appropriate places I can soon work out if I have met them before, but for some reason my mistress tells me that is not acceptable practice. It is perfectly ok in the dog world to sniff any bits you want, I can’t think why humans are so boring.

I went to see Mackenzie and it turns out she is on heat too, as well as my mum that is. She was behaving very oddly and really wanted to play with me. She doesn’t normally want to play so I asked why sitting on a warm car seat should have that effect and she laughed at me. I was really quite upset but then even worse she explained to me what it really meant. Oh diary, I just didn’t know what to do I was so embarrassed. I put my paws over my ears and ran round barking to block out hearing any more. I’m not even five months old yet, I really shouldn’t need to hear things like that. Then she went on to explain why the vet was prodding and poking me and what I should be like when I am fully grown. Oh diary, I don’t think I can ever face her again, I just wanted to run and hide behind my mistress and get her to tell me that none of it was true.

Well having three children to play with is all very well but I never know which way to turn. It’s ‘Alfie this’ and ‘Alfie that’ every few seconds. What is a poor puppy to think? Mind you they stopped to see Misskin the cat on their way and she had exactly the same problem. Have you ever tried settling down for your afternoon nap whilst small people try to ‘entertain’ you? Well I can tell you, it is impossible. I think the only approach is to ignore everyone for the week unless they have my food bowl in their hand. Much as I like walking there is also a limit to the number of walks I want to go for in a day. I am basically a lazy dog, I just want to curl up and relax at the end of a walk not be asked to go for another one after a five minute sit down. I might just find an empty cupboard and hide for a while.

 

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