Sunday 2nd July 2006

Well my mistress just gets worse and worse. The way she was shouting at the players in the England football match yesterday you would think she thought that they could hear her. I have already walked behind the set several times to check there aren’t really little men in it and if I can work out they are not really in our lounge you would like to think that this fact was not wasted on my mistress. However her team ‘encouragement’ seems to know no bounds. Still in her defence she has beaten my master on their bet on who would predict the most correct results in the whole cup which in her defence had originated with him remarking that she knew nothing about football. So I am guessing on that basis that he knows even less. In fairness to both of them even I was starting to get interested with the level of tension everyone was showing but I still don’t really get it. They play for 45 minutes and you think ‘that’s it then’ then they play for another 45 minutes. As if that is not enough they then play for two lots of 15 minutes  and all for no one to actually score a goal. What is the point? Then I really don’t get it as to make up for the fact they haven’t scored any goals they then score some special ones at the end to make up for it and then they say that the other team has won. At no point did any of them pick it up with their mouths. No, I really don’t think football is for me and having seen how my master and mistress were watching the game and how miserable they were at the end I don’t even think I am going to bother watching it again either.

The car seat has shrunk again. I really don’t fit very well. I can put my head between the gear stick and the hand brake but my mistress tells me off for that and says it is dangerous so will I please move. What am I supposed to do? If I sit up it is ok, but then if she brakes suddenly or goes over a road hump my front legs land in the footwell. I have suggested she could buy me a new car, it must still be a two seater with a soft top but must have bigger seats. I don’t know what fits the description. I know it isn’t just my imagination as when I saw MacKenzie the other day I had clean run over her, not you will be pleased to hear in the car, before I even saw she was there. To be strictly honest I caught one of my back legs on her on the way over and sort of landed in a heap. All very undignified and I don’t think MacKenzie was overly pleased either.

 

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