Thursday 7th December 2006

Well we went to Bradgate Park yesterday. It’s not bad. There is plenty of space to run around and oak trees with hollow insides that you can hide in. There were two things I didn’t understand though. Firstly, there is a house that is derelict. My mistress says it is known as a ruin but derelict seems a perfectly good word to me. I didn’t get the point of it. Why not knock it down and grow some more trees but my mistress didn’t seem to appreciate my suggestion. Secondly, there is a jug on a hill, or at least that is what it looked like to me. My mistress told me it is called ‘Old John’ and it is a folly. Now I can see why you might call it a folly but I wondered if ‘a pointless’ might be a better description. It was fun climbing up to it though and there was a great view and more importantly a great smell of rabbits.

After several days of having my mistress’s ‘memories’ inflicted on me I am now curled up back on the settee where I belong. Sadly by granddad had other views about where I belonged at his house and my attempts to sit in my rightful place were repeatedly thwarted. Except for the one night when I crept up after he went out but I’m hoping he doesn’t find out about that. As part of my grand tour I was even walked to see the school my mistress went to. What do you say in a situation like that without sounding patronising? There is the person in question proudly showing you a pile of bricks and mortar that they didn’t even enjoy going to and you are supposed to work out what the right response is. It was easy for places like the one they had the wedding reception at to which I naturally said “You mean the one I wasn’t invited to!” which at least got me an extra biscuit because she felt bad.

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