Sunday 24th December 2006

Now run this Santa business past me again. If I have understood this correctly, sometime when I am asleep tonight, a bloke on a sleigh pulled by reindeer, is going to drive through the sky to bring presents to all of us and gain entry to our houses down the chimney. Not surprisingly I have a few questions. Firstly, how does he know where to find me? Secondly, who decides whether I have been good this year? Was that what my appraisal was all about? Thirdly, obviously I want to know how on earth he can visit all of us in person in that space of time? But I would also like answers to some more obscure questions; such as can all reindeer fly? And why did my mistress bring me to England to a house with no chimney and not leave me in Belgium where we have a lovely chimney? Is there a risk if I haven’t got a chimney that he won’t be able to get in?

Isn’t opening presents fun, particularly when they are meant for somebody else. You can really get your paws and nose stuck into wrapping paper, and in some instances, when there is too much sticky tape, you can’t get them off again. Now, feeling a little down after the festivities of the evening, I have to get into the car for the drive north. What I had not realised until now is that I have lost my seat in the front of the car and have been relegated to the back. Just because my master is here, he seems to think he should sit in the front and not me. I can spread out more in the back but I don’t get patted and stroked as often. At least the journey won’t be too long and I am looking forward to seeing the children. The other worrying thing is that I am sharing my journey with a dead turkey. It is almost unbearable being surrounded by bags of food and told to ‘leave’. At times like this I wish it was not in my nature to be such a good dog.

 

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