Saturday 30th December 2006

Now I know I said I want to get my Woodland Stories published but I have recently heard a new term and it sounds exciting. The term is ‘moonlighting’. I am thinking of putting my Christmas present to good use. You may remember it was a t-shirt that says ‘security’, I have added a photo to my diary to show me wearing it. Now all I need to find is someone that wants to employ a completely docile puppy that is very well mannered and affectionate in the capacity of bouncer. I will still be a writing by day but by night I am going to ‘moonlight’ as a security guard. Of course there is absolutely no point in anyone asking me to do it that really wants anything valuable looked after as I am not at all fierce and make friends with almost everyone. In fact I only growl at my cousin and my great-aunt and I have even stopped growling at my cousin. He sort of scratched me under my chin a bit and I melted. So I will be most useful in the capacity of guard dog where you want something protecting from very elderly ladies. I am also experienced in keeping small boys amused and looking for lost rabbits. Unfortunately I do less well at controlling small boys and except on the occasions I pull the face that looks like the ‘Taz’ cartoon which is based on the Tasmanian Devil Dog I don’t actually scare anybody. Oh well, I have still got the Pet Dogs Democratic Party, maybe my skills are better used there. Perhaps that is what I should do in the New Year, some serious campaigning on behalf of the PDDP. I am still fed up that I couldn’t go into service stations in England for lunch. Right, so they put a bowl of water outside for dogs to make it look like they care, but who are they kidding. We want to be inside in Burger King, with all the food on the floor.

 

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