I have been asking my mistress about why the Kennel Club in England doesn’t list Entlebuchers, she says they don’t recognise the breed. As far as I can see that would be fairly easy to resolve, if she sent them a photograph of me and explained that this is what an Entlebucher looks like, then the next time they see one they could say “Oh look, that is an Entlebucher” and so recognise it. To a dog that all seems quite simple. However, my mistress said it is all a bit more scientific than that. They have to be a certain height and weight and then there are lots of other characteristics. Now I don’t mean to be picky but there are overweight humans out there and there are short humans out there and no one says they aren’t human, because they don’t quite fit the breed standard. It all seems a bit odd if you ask me.
I have decided I want a house with a turret. I keep driving past ones with little towers and turrets and I want our house to have one. I could sit at the top and wave a paw out of the window and pretend I needed rescuing. I suppose it would be all right until someone actually stopped by to rescue me. I’m on a pretty cushy number here and I would hate to swap it for one where my needs were not so well understood. I have been contemplating a scheme for visitors of a free gift with every tummy rub, just to make sure they have every encouragement to make a fuss of me. The only problem I that my mistress has refused to let me give her things away. I suppose I could start with my master’s things, it would take him a day or two to notice.