Tuesday 10th May 2011

Humans are really the strangest creatures. There has been a heated debate running in our house since last year about the planting of roses. My Master is convinced he knows more about growing roses than my Mistress does, much to her annoyance. When the roses were planted last year, to save on arguments one row is the choice of my Master and one is the choice of my Mistress. My Master’s are all the same variety whereas my Mistress wanted an array of different colours.

When it came to pruning the roses each did their own and my Master took it upon himself to tell my Mistress she hadn’t done hers correctly, leaving her quietly fuming. He even got the nine year old, who has never grown roses in his life to tell my Mistress that hers don’t look as healthy as his father’s ones. It has led to my Mistress issuing a challenge. They are now scoring points for who gets the first bloom of the year, the last bloom of the year and the highest number of total blooms. My Mistress has taken an early lead with the first bloom and is ready with the score sheet to maintain a running total of the numbers. Of course it will be a number of months before she is able to declare herself the winner but she is confident of that outcome. We are just sitting by and watching, wondering what ridiculous idea they will come up with next and just hoping it in no way affects us directly. Knowing what their little contests are like, I am not even volunteering to get involved as referee as it can only possibly lead to arguments. One of them will interpret the rules differently to the other one and it goes downhill from there. I’ve seen it before when they were seeing how long they could go without someone washing the clothes.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk

 

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