The title is not a spelling mistake. This week we have to report – mud. Lots and lots of mud. I have long been suspecting some of our local farmers of growing rice from observation of the local fields and now parts of our garden look as though we are following in their squelch marks.
I don’t really know who was to blame for the muddy wall incident. It might have been me, but then I prefer to think that as Ari was the one who actually came into contact with the wall, the blame rests with him. We’d been playing outside in the garden. I think this might be one of those situations where I could be accused of being a marginally unreliable narrator. Ari had been annoying me and we weren’t exactly playing, we were more showing him how to deal with annoying little upstarts. And when I say ‘we’ were showing him, I may actually mean that ‘I’ was showing him how I deal with annoying little upstarts. Anyway, to cut a long story short he found himself wiped through a larger muddy patch of garden, but to give the little chap his due, he took it in good spirit and came back for more so he found his other side wiped through the mud as well. This may not surprise you, but all this happened while my Mistress wasn’t looking. Anyway, because we hadn’t been seen, my Mistress was not ready with the towel as we came through the back door. On the bright side she wasn’t ready to tell me off either, which initially had its upside. I say initially as Ari and I were still larking around as we went up the stairs to the office. That’s when it happened. I barged him ever so slightly, in the way that dogs do when they are being friendly and he inadvertently wiped his muddy side all down the purple wall. I have to say the foot long by 9” wide mark all down the wall was very impressive and I haven’t seen so much mud since Megan ran past my Mistress and shook in the hall after a fight with Shadow in the mud last year. Anyway, that was the point I wish I’d been told off for the initial misdemeanour rather than the final outcome. I tried saying it was Ari’s fault, but you know what it’s like with the baby of the family. If the old one didn’t lead them astray. If only you’d set a good example. If, if if.
The upshot of it is that I have been grounded and issued with a mop and bucket, and a paintbrush and tin of paint to make good the destruction of our activities. Ari on the other paw has been gently sponged down and wrapped in a towel to dry. While I work I will be plotting my revenge!
Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind email@example.com
Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA