Wednesday 23rd May 2012 – I have often said…

I have often said that you need to worry about my Mistress and here I have the perfect illustration of why that is. She has got it into her head that she would like some paw prints to stick onto the sides of her cars. She doesn’t need them for the inside, we provide those using mud. Anyway, now a friends has told her she could get eyelashes to go round the headlights, so she now wants those as well. If she thinks any self respecting dog is going to be seen getting into a car with eyelashes she’s got another think coming. Someone has suggested a nose too, but frankly that would be going way too far.

On the going too far front, Shadow has lost the plot. Not content with being made to play ball several times a day, she is going and getting the balls out of the bag and taking them to my Mistress and asking to play during the times in between. Does she have no pity? What are we poor boys to do? The whole thing has been made ten times worse by the introduction of the hosepipe turned on us at full pelt to stop the barking. It works! All she needs to do now is prepared to turn the hose pipe on us while we are indoors and the whole thing will be sorted.

Today isn’t so bad. Amigo has gone for another sleepover with our friends, so I don’t have to spend all day playing ball. Aristotle is a lot better so he and I can chill out on the settee sleeping and then potter round together in the garden like old times. With the good weather I’m up for a bit of pottering.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind

Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –

You can find short stories to read at

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