Welcome to the first flashback of 2018. It seems funny so early in the year to be looking back, but it is always fun to see what happened that I’ve either forgotton or wasn’t here for, so here goes.
Oh this made me laugh from 2007 – it clearly worked as so many of you read his diary now!
Another day another destination. More importantly though I need your help. If I am to become a worldwide cult figure the first step will need to be to get more people to have heard of me. I can do the whole writing to papers and maybe leave the odd business card lying around (if my mistress will let me have some printed) but if it isn’t any trouble could you send an email to some of your friends so they can read my diary too? If you just send a letter something along these lines…
‘Dear xxxx (obviously you fill that bit in)
Immense good fortune will come to the pets of all those that read the diary of the great Alfie Dog (you can leave out the great if you really have to). Please read his diary at www.alfiedog.me.uk If you like it, please send the link to five of your gullible friends, and their pets, so they can share in the good fortune too.’
That should just about cover it although you might want to add something along the lines of ‘Alfie Dog’ is the leader of the Pet Dogs Democratic Party and spends every waking hour campaigning for more rights to be extended to pet dogs.’ (I suppose it is just unfortunate that I don’t have many waking hours!)
Do you think I should put something in about bad things happening to you if you don’t pass the link on? I think that is how chain letters usually work. Alternatively, I could use the tactic of sending it out myself with a warning about some fake virus and see just how long it takes to go all the way round the world and come back to me. Well after all that exertion I need another nap. It is now your turn to do your bit and send it out. I shall know if you have by checking how many people are reading my diary. Thank you in anticipation and lots of frenetic tail wagging.
Then from 2009
We are trying out all the different footpaths and bridleways in the area to see which ones we like best. We went down a lovely bridleway with Highland cattle in a field next to it. However much I might feel a herding instinct when I see cows, I am by nature a coward and can’t think for a minute that I was designed to herd anything with horns. One of them was quite friendly and came over to say hello, but I waved a paw from a distance rather than giving him the customary sniff.
2012 one of the early entries from Aristotle
I’m teething. Don’t you just hate it? I feel the need to chew on things constantly. I’ve got teething toys but I tend to prefer dog chews or failing that an arm, leg, or the side of my plastic bed. The humans moan when it’s their arm. I can’t think why. I rarely leave holes that are very deep. It’s not my fault my gums are sore. My Mistress says a little whisky rubbed on them might help but she thinks I’m too young to start on the whisky. Why suggest it if she isn’t going to let me try? That just seems plain mean.
I woke up feeling sick this morning. I wretched for long enough to get my Mistress’s attention and as soon as she picked me up I said I was feeling ok. It meant we had to go outside though and then got to spend the rest of the night all cuddled up on the sofa, so it was definitely worth it.
That’s it from me for today. Have a wonderful Friday.
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com
Alfie’s Diary – the Book as well as our other books are available HERE
© 2017 Rosemary J. Kind
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