Oh it’s that time of the week again when I get to look back into the archives. I simply love seeing some of what the others did when they were young.
I only got as far as Alfie in 2007 to have a bit of a laugh
I am distraught. It is with great sadness that I have to report the untimely and tragic death of ‘pig’. Pig has been my constant companion for a number of months. Ok so I still take my Miffy comforter to bed, but Pig has travelled all over Europe with me. There we were yesterday playing our usual game. I grab him in my mouth and present my mistress with a trotter to hold, while I tug. She has been so careful not to let me get a purchase on pig, so that nothing untoward happened to him, but yesterday I tugged before she was ready and that is when it happened. His whole little body ripped in two. Well as you can imagine, I just stood there. First I looked at pig, then I looked at my mistress. Then I stuck my nose inside him to see if there was anything there. Then I just sat down in disbelief. After a few minutes I picked him up as carefully as I could and took him to my mistress, tail wagging, saying “Of course you will be able to fix him won’t you?” It was then that my mistress sat me down and explained that pig had gone to the resting place for plastic toys in the sky and he wouldn’t be coming back. Pig was a present from Matilda the cat’s family. My mistress says she will try to get me another one if I can find out where it came from. So here I am faced not only with my loss but having to be nice to Matilda the cat so that I can find out where he came from. There are times as a dog that life just is not fair. I suppose I could just get my grief out of my system by finding and chasing Matilda the cat but I don’t know that that would have the same satisfaction in the long term.
I thought if I looked at 2012 it would be mainly Aristotle misbehaving but it turns out they were all at it:
If you put me on a diet then of course I’m going to eat anything I find lying around. No, I don’t care that it was stale crusts waiting to go out for the birds. No, I have no scruples as to whether the birds will go hungry. From observation there are berries and things they can have that I can’t reach. The bread on the other paw is accessible and therefore mine.I don’t know what Shadow’s excuse was. She stole the carrots off the work surface that were waiting for tea and she’s not even on a diet. I do admire her agility, but she was in serious trouble. Ari was in trouble as well as he has taken up gardening. He has begun pruning the fruit trees. It has been carefully explained to him that that is a specialist job for which he has not yet received training. He has only started on the pear tree so we are hoping that there is little real harm done. He says he’s contemplating a career in horticulture unless they let him be a stud dog. I can’t see him being allowed to be a stud dog. Life would be way too complicated if he were. Mind you I can’t see him being allowed to practice on the garden. He might be given a small patch of his own to tend at the back, but the front garden is my Mistress’s pride and joy and she won’t want Ari making random alterations to that. I know she has some bulbs that need planting so he could be given the task of digging some legitimate holes. In my experience they aren’t nearly so much fun to dig.
Well that’s me done for today. I’ve realised I’m a little angle by comparison to the rest of the household so I’m going to see if I can use that to my advantage.
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com
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