In my new role as a politically minded dog, I’ve been thinking of what is the most important question you should all be asking of political parties before you cast your vote. I think I’ve come up with one that can be used in any country and in any type of election to determine who is fit for government and who is not. Actually, it’s a couple of questions. First off, does the party leader have a dog and if so what type. The answer to that alone will tell you a great deal. If they say ‘No I don’t like dogs’ then obviously you should not vote for them, not ever! If they say ‘I love dogs, but don’t have one right now.’ You need to ask them about their dog owning history and base your decision on their suitability on that. If they say ‘Yes.’ Then next up you need to know what it is. Ideally, you should see a video clip of them coming home when they have been away. If in a business suit they still welcome an excited dog to come to see them, they are a good person. If they push the dog away then you should avoid them and if the dog doesn’t bother to run up to them then they are a very bad person and should be avoided at all costs. On this basis, Her Majesty the Queen is a very good person, although not up for election and so was Barack Obama. Then you need to move on to the type of dog. If the dog is a toy breed, then you need to be concerned and ask them about their policies on the environment, agriculture and the countryside as they may not be aware those things exist. If it is a fighting dog by nature then for goodness sake ask them about their defence strategies and make sure they won’t be too eager to go to war. If they have something which looks highly pampered, then check their expenses claims and find how much they spend on their own grooming before you decide to foot the bill. I know I’m biased, but you should be most comforted if they have a working dog, unless it is unruly and out of control. It shows they are bright enough to stay one step ahead of us, fit enough to exercise us and understand the need for hard work as well as liking the big outdoors. Elect the ones with the working dogs and you won’t go far wrong.
Have a happy Saturday
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com
Alfie’s Diary – the Book as well as our other books are available HERE