Slimline Ari – Wednesday 23rd October 2019

Slimline Ari

It’s me again, slimline Ari. I went swimming yesterday and our Mistress weighed me properly without my harness. You aren’t going to believe this, but the new slimline Ari is only 24.7kg. That’s hardly any more than Wilma. It resulted in our Mistress sitting me down for a serious chat and concluding when I had my shower after swimming that I might have become a little on the thin side. I reassured her that I have not become anorexic. However, if I’m being honest some of the weight loss may be down to stress when she goes away without me. Her first worry is that there is nothing else medical going on, but apart from a small ‘incident’ late on Monday which I’ll come back to, I feel absolutely fine.

We’ve agreed that I can go up to three meals a day for the next week and then she will weigh me again to make sure I’m putting on a little weight. She says she thinks I’m a kilo or two under my ideal weight and who am I to argue?

Rotten Pears

There was the small matter of the rotten pear. To be fair, our Mistress had made very clear to me that eating it would be a very bad idea. I didn’t listen. Why would I? I’m a dog. Anyway, with hindsight, it would have been better if I’d paid attention. First of all I tried eating all the grass and plants I could find and made myself sick before bed. I did feel a little better for it, but when I went to bed I started to have tummy ache again. Well, what’s a boy to do? I ate my bed to make myself sick again.

When our Mistress came down this morning, my bed was in a very sorry state. The whole lot has been binned and I am being monitored carefully. Sadly, the upshot is not me getting a new bed. I do feel better and haven’t been sick since, but one of the old beds that the others don’t want is being ‘reallocated’ to me. Why can’t I have a nice new one?

I’m going to have to work on this one.

Have a great Wednesday