Our house is insane – a flashback – Friday 4th December 2020

Our house is insane.

It is confirmed, our house is insane. I didn’t need to trawl any further through the archives than Alfie’s entry from 2007 to conclude that. Alfie was just two years old and our humans were preparing to move back to England from Belgium. For the newer readers amongst you, I’ll add a few notes to what he wrote so you don’t end up worrying too much.

Where will we live?

You have got to worry about this household. There I am, sitting quietly on my bed yesterday, when my mistress says to my master “If you could live anywhere in England, where would it be?”

Without a moment’s hesitation my master replied, “Wimbledon.”

My mistress was a little baffled and asked “Why?” in a most incredulous voice.

“Oh definitely,” he said, “The Wombles.”

They proceeded to have a conversation along the lines of ‘Where are they now?’ and discussing which was their favourite Womble.

This is not a sane household!

(At this point I think I should point out that we have yet to find any Wombles living in our little corner of Yorkshire. There aren’t even any on the village green, which on balance is a shame. Wilma.)

The insane house view of family pets

I was also alarmed to overhear a discussion on family pets. Now I know I have been spoilt rotten being their only dog and I have appreciated it. I have just about got my head round the addition of a puppy, mainly because I’ve wanted one for a while, so it seems like a good idea to me. I have even got my head round the fact that it is likely to be a Bearded Collie called Sooty. Then yesterday I heard them discussing the arrival of another puppy, to be called Megan. This one is more exciting as she will be a little girl Entlebucher.

Zoo keepers

However, I do not remember having agreed to share their affections with Lucky the rabbit, another rabbit as yet unnamed, two turtles and a terrapin. It seems my mistress is to become a zoo keeper, which frankly, between you and me, she is in no way qualified to be. Oh she muddles through with me pointing her in the right direction, ‘scratch here’, ‘rub there’, ‘feed me some more’, but what do I know about the needs of a terrapin? I hope they are large turtles and terrapins as I clearly remember her saying she couldn’t cope with anything smaller than a guinea pig. I hope they aren’t going to be sleeping in my bed, with the exception of Megan who will be very welcome to snuggle up.

(They didn’t get a Bearded Collie – not unless Shadow is in very heavy disguise! They did of course have my aunt Megan until she moved to live in Germany. Then there were the rabbits and that’s a whole different story. It was Alfie who became obsessed with them and not in a good way – they had to go back to the shop for their own safety. Not turtles or terrapins have as yet moved in – but there’s still time! Wilma)

Love

Wilma