Security Dog – Friday 26th March 2021

Security Dog

When Alfie was a young chap he took on the role of security dog – it’s not quite what you think though. I was looking back in the archive and I found this entry from this day in 2007

Murder Mystery 2007

I need to turn my thoughts to my role in the murder mystery next weekend. The funniest part of it so far is that my master’s character calls for him to have a ‘sun tan’. You would find it hard to find anyone that is much whiter skinned than my master. My mistress has very kindly offered to apply fake tan for him. You have to worry when you get an offer like that from the person that can’t get it right on herself.

Even the pack that a friend bought her, telling her she can’t fail, went wrong. In that case, everything was just fine until she went to bed and somehow slept with her hand on her leg. This gave rise to a brown hand and a white patch on her leg. Given this stuff usually lasts about 5 days I hope my master isn’t planning to go anywhere important at the start of next week.

Security Dog

I will be wearing my ‘security’ t-shirt for the event and I am trying to find out whether my mistress has a spare bow tie that I can wear. The only problem is that it won’t show up against my black fur, but if I hold my head up all evening it will show against the white of my neck.

Then I looked forward to 2010 and it turns out that today it is exactly 11 years since Alfie reported moving in to our current house. Happy birthday house – although the house was actually here before we were.

Moving In 2010

You have to hand it to them, it wasn’t the easiest moving day. Firstly there was the fact that the builders decided to pick the same time to fix a lot of problems. So in addition to three removals men trying to take things into the house, there were two painters, two plasterers, two electricians, a tiler, and a joiner in the house. There were dust sheets everywhere and several rooms they couldn’t go in. Then after the electrician had gone several circuits of the electricity went off and wouldn’t come back on, including the heating, the hot water and the house alarm. The alarm then ran on its battery back up until deciding to go off at 4.54 in the morning. My Mistress would just like to apologise to all our neighbours and is grateful that on this occasion no one called the police.

She has waited until today to take us back into the chaos. She said it was because the fence wasn’t ready for us, but the reality is that I would have moaned about the lack of heating. I must admit that I am excited and more than a little apprehensive about moving in. My Mistress has reassured me that she knows where some of my things are, although she can’t actually get to the box they are in, but by the time we arrive she has promised to try to move the boxes that are on top of them. I asked whether she had found my food and was thankful that the answer was yes. After that as long as I have her bed to sleep on, nothing else really matters.

That is more than enough from me. Have a great Friday.