A March Flashback – Friday 25th March 2022

A March Flashback

I thought you might like a March flashback. I was enjoying looking through. We begin right back when Alfie was only a few weeks old. He was a funny puppy.

2006 – Alfie goes to the supermarket

I am so excited. Now I know this may seem strange but if it was your first time going into a supermarket you might think it exciting too. My mistress is going to the do-it-yourself store later to buy me some more dog food and she has said I can go too. When she was in there the other day there was a person in front of her with a particularly ugly dog that only an owner could love, so she came home and said if that person could take that dog then the next time she went I could go.

This means I am going to get to do that old tugging at the coat thing ‘can you buy me this?’ ‘can I have one of those?’ ‘this toy looks great. If you don’t buy me one I am going to cry and make a scene.’ I can be just like all the other children. Oh the joy of the things you can get away with when you are only 19 weeks old. I am going to sniff all the other foods to see if there is one I prefer and be all cute and beg for dog biscuits. I am not sure how I am going to contain my excitement until this afternoon.

The following year Alfie wasn’t helping with the gardening.

2007 – Don’t eat the parsley

Apparently, it isn’t the done thing to pee on the parsley. It’s just a plant, what does it matter whether I pee on that one rather than another one? When my mistress explained that that one is for eating, I began to get the picture. May I just suggest that you do without parsley until it rains a few times!

This one simply made me laugh. Now Mum does a lot of the jobs herself instead.

A march flashback from 2016 Wilma and Alfie
Wilma and Alfie March 2016

2011 – The curse of the handyman

We are the curse of handymen. If you are a handyman and my Mistress rings you about a job, then hang up. Do not answer the phone. Tell her you’re out. Anything, but don’t tell her you will come to do a job at our house. Since we have lived here, which is only a year, we have been through quite a number of handymen. The first was going to come to do some work, but hurt his back and was off work for a while. We waited for him to come back, but in the end he thought it better we find someone else.

The second one was booked and due to come, but he hurt his shoulder and once again decided we should find someone else. The third one was booked for a different job completely. He agreed to come. Then we didn’t hear from him so we rang and left a message and he didn’t ring back.

Now handyman number four has left a message on the answer machine saying he is the replacement for handyman number three, who has given up doing handy work altogether. In the interests of your future, handyman number four, we will not be ringing you back. It isn’t personal, it’s just that there are only so many handymen you can finish off before you think it’s time to stop.

Well that’s quite enough of that for one day. I’m off to help painting the ‘Ticket Office’. Catch you later.



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