Texts from the dog – Tuesday 23rd April 2024

Texts from the Dog

Texts from the dog can be so funny. I was going back through the diary moving some to the archive page and I came across this that we all wrote in May 2018. It made me and Mum laugh so much that I thought you might enjoy seeing it again too.

May 2018 Text from the dog by Alfie

Sometimes our Mistress laughs about some of the things she sees posted on the internet as being texts from the dog. We all had a bit of a laugh working out what text conversations we would have with our Mistress. Our conclusions said a lot about our different personalities.


‘There’s someone outside’

‘At our house?’

‘No, just outside, but they might come to our house’

‘Tell me if they come to the door’

‘They’re coming to the door’

‘Where are they exactly?’

‘Oh, my mistake the car went straight past’

‘You only need to say something if there’s someone actually here’

‘They’re here now. Really they are’

‘At the door?’

‘Well they might be. I can’t see. I’ve just fallen off the chair’

‘Which chair? Where are you?’

‘Got to go now. There’s someone at the door’



‘Hey, what?’

‘Just hey’

‘Ok, what have you been eating?’

‘Nothing, man’


‘Chill, everything’s cool’

‘What’s going on?’

‘I love you’

‘I love you too, Aristotle but what have you done?’


‘Where are you?’

‘I’ve gone out’

‘You’ve been ages’

‘I only went five minutes ago’

‘I miss you’

‘I’ll be home soon’

‘I never want you to leave me again… not ever’


‘I’m hungry’

‘You’ve only just eaten’


‘You had breakfast half an hour ago’

‘Does that mean I can have lunch now?’

‘No, Alfie it doesn’t’

‘A snack?’


‘There’s some steak on the side. Can I have that?’

‘No, Alfie, that’s my tea’

‘I might have accidentally nibbled the corner’

‘Alfie, how much have you eaten?’

‘There is still a mark on the plate where it was’


It’s funny how different we all were. I do miss having other dogs around.



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  1. Imagining what our pets would say if they could text us adds a delightful layer of humor to our relationships with them. The conversations crafted in “Texts from the Dog” not only bring a smile but also reflect the distinct personalities of each dog, showcasing how our pets’ supposed thoughts and actions can mirror human behaviors so comically. This charming concept allows us to appreciate the quirks of our furry friends even more.

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