I’m a coward – Friday 24th January 2020

I’m a coward

I don’t mind admitting it, I’m a coward. I’d be happier to face half a ton of cow than to be asked to play with Wilma. That girl scares me. Yesterday, our Mistress had this mad idea. ‘Aristotle,’ she said, ‘take Wilma out into the back garden and the pair of you have a good run around.’ The first problem with that was that I did not want to have a run around. I wanted to sit in front of a fireside snuggled up with a dog biscuit and my human. The second problem was the glint in Wilma’s eyes. She was beside herself with excitement at the prospect of having a playmate.

Now, if you know Wilma you will realise that she wasn’t nicknamed ‘Wild Wilma’ for nothing. She has one speed, which our Mistress describes as Exocet Missile speed. Our Mistress, to give her her due, did agree to come outside with us. She positioned herself behind the water butt for safety. Me? Well, I positioned myself behind my Mistress.

She’s Mad

In the short time before I took cover, I’d been bounced on, pounced on, jumper over and bumped. All of which was while I was trying to stand stock-still so I couldn’t be seen until I’d found the best hiding place. That was when I ran for cover behind out Mistress. ‘Apparently’ that wasn’t entering into the spirit of things and wasn’t being overly helpful. Nor was it helpful when I suggested our Mistress should stand in the middle of the garden and see how long she would put up with it for.

Why can’t Wilma be like a normal dog and like playing fetch with a ball? Why does she have to have another dog to chase?

What I didn’t appreciate was later when our Mistress took Shadow out with Wilma and Wilma didn’t jump on Shadow once. What is it about me that makes her think jumping on me is acceptable? I’ve been victimised!

On a brighter note, we did have steak for tea, so it wasn’t all bad.

Have a great day

Aristotle