Alfie Could be Naughty – Friday 6th August 2021

Alfie could be naughty

It turns out Alfie could be naughty. He wasn’t the perfect dog we all remember him as being. I was going back through the diary to find something fun from the past and found one of his confessions from this day in 2015. It was before I joined the family.

A dog’s got to do…

I have not behaved dreadfully well this week. There have been a couple of ‘incidents’ shall we say. Some friends of our Mistress’s called the other day and I’m not sure if it was the excitement or the stress but I might have just peed on the lounge carpet. I don’t normally do things like that so I don’t entirely know what came over me. Needless to say I was in trouble for that, but not as much trouble as the ‘sausage roll’ incident.

Alfie being Naughty – Sausage Roll Incident

While my Mistress was away I had to eat more because I lose weight when I’m stressed. Because she knows it always happens she even feeds me up a bit before she goes knowing that I shall be my old slim self by the time she returns. Anyway, I’ve got a bit too used to eating more and I’m struggling on normal rations feeling hungry all the time. You know what it’s like when you’re on a diet. Every so often things become a bit overwhelming and you tend to binge eat. Our Mistress is generally very careful about leaving things around and to be fair the sausage rolls were in a tied plastic bag in the middle of the kitchen table. She’d gone out and I was feeling peckish.

When she came home the plastic bag was empty on the kitchen floor. I’d tried to put it in the bin, but since I used to raid the bin when I was hungry she’s got one I can’t get into, which meant I couldn’t hide the evidence. She watched me fairly closely for a while in case they made me ill, but thankfully I don’t seem to have suffered any ill effects and I have to say they really were very nice.

I am not like Alfie

Sadly, I am not like Alfie. I don’t lose weight in kennels. I’m still on a diet but don’t seem to be making any progress at all. Mum talked about it with me yesterday and has said we need a more complete programme of food reduction and more exercise just as soon as we’re together. This cannot possibly be good! Well, I don’t mind the exercise bit.